he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
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YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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