using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
