Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
