seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
