Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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