i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
