my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Randomize
