her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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