Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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