You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
