OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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