They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Randomize
