Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
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