You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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