Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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