if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
It's shark week go big or go home
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
