P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
When are your genitals available?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
We need to get me chipped asap
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Randomize
