the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
home. puking in laundry basket.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
