and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
