love makes seman taste better
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
