i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
