hell yes lets make some ravioli
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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