I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
