scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
