I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
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