New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
