I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
