i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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