They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
And then the night went full on bisexual.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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