That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Is Oprah even human
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
