When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
