That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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