Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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