its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
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Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
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We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
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