how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
