I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
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