youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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