i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
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