Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
