i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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