she woke up with a sticky ear
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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