? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
