If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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