Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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