he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
