Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
