she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Randomize
