If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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