atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
