Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
this boner is exhausting
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
