Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Who died my cat blue again?
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