i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
