mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize