dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize