first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
