You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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