Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
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I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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