Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
