I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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