my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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