I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
