my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
