Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
