thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
