I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
