Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
