i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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