I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
